Calmness of Waves : A Metaphor 🌊


In wide expanse of whiteness of water mingling with those of the clouds and a stretch of sand where eyes can see , each one is lost in their own world . Has a different definition of life , all of them so want to join hands , but the waves are sweeping them off. The waves are just homologous to the thoughts a person goes through , the rolling ride of the ongoing thoughts in our mind , Every being is striving for something or another , they are living a desire they have for themselves. Somewhere in so much beauty all a mind asks for is to make peace with itself. 

The essence of life, not lies in fulfilling all these desires but in making peace with the way one seeks to fulfill it. The tranquility lies in to be comfortable in your own skin, just as the way you are. Like the calmness in the gushing waves, makes it beautiful, a calm mind is an ultimate weapon to bring out the exuberant desires and achieve them.

Achieving a calm mind in this turbulent surroundings is Grueling. Someone very dear to me, once told me, 

“To Every Stimulus there is a response, but between every stimulus and response, there is a choice, and the choice is entirely yours.” 

Often, in our lives we levy the burden of our actions and reactions to the circumstances. Circumstances were just the stimulus , but your reaction to it was the choice you made to respond to it. It’s rightly said, our choices decide the person we become. 

The simpler it may seem in theory, the more strenuous it is in practice. Human Dynamics have conditioned us in such a way, that to every action, we do give a reaction. But, the day we realize that not all things require a reaction, be it internally or externally, will be the day when our mind will become as peaceful and yet euphoric as these waves.

Art of Moderation

“Never go to excess, but let moderation be your guide.”
~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

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One of these days, when i was having this conversation with my sibling, I happened to say very instinctively that, most of us live our lives in extremities. From just an inborn statement, which almost stood null and void, I fell in this line of thought of the art of moderation. Most of us do not understand the art of moderation, neither are we able to strike a perfect balance and understand subtleties of life. Our life unfolds as a Drama in various stages, and all of us have a role to play. As we progress with every new stage we have to take on a new role; and every new role comes with a challenge. Suddenly amidst everything you see yourself battling several roles together; you are a son/daughter, brother/ sister, Girlfriend/boyfriend or Spouse, an employee or an aspiring student, a friend and various other multifaceted you. But, are we able to do justice to all these roles that we have to play? That’s exactly where maintaining the appropriate balance is required. I often witness, people being engrossed in one role and neglecting the rest.

Aspirations and ambitions are great, they are a driving force in many people’s life, but for some they completely forget it is just a part of life, they forget to see the bigger picture, and a role takes a toll on them so much that they become ignorant to the things that need their attention equally, if not more. They are so self-absorbed, and stretch too far in life, not realizing that one day they’ll find, ten years have got behind them, and they’ve missed the starting gun. They forget the romantic in them and just run in this rat race. Whereas there are a few who live in an elated state of bliss, a feeling that they relate to love, stimulating pleasures and adventures in life. For them life is all about having fun and enjoying. They believe in living in the moment and embracing life as it comes. They fail to understand life isn’t a bed of roses; there are dark sides of life too. Living in the moment sounds fancy but not practical.Destiny does exist, but no one ever achieved something without working for it.
Some are caught in the extremes of career, some in their love life, some in their adventures, some might race for money. Some may even be stuck in satisfying and making others happy, such people have high need for approval and recognition, which outshines them. Some have their extremes of self-monitoring to an extent that they leave behind the joys of life. You go after one thing and miss out on the others; the state of equilibrium seems like a farfetched reality for the human mind. And it’s completely okay to not maintain a perfect equilibrium, but sometimes the imbalance costs us way more than our capacity to think, time slips by our hands and all we are left with certain regrets. Maybe we pondered over fun so much, that we lost our precious years of making a career or maybe we were so driven by the problems of our daily life that we missed on the little joys. Not many go on the track of living in extremes and realize that they are leaving something essential far behind.
Living life in extremes gives us greater stimulation in life, but a greater stimulation will never appease us of our desires, it will actually increase our appetite for them. It will leave us in the state of imbalance externally as well as internally. Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.
Even though, I am a novice in carving order out of chaos, but the few things that I do to strike that equilibrium in life includes reflecting on oneself deeply, and examining the aspects of life that need balance. Introspecting and being honest to oneself is one but changing oneself by stepping outside the comfort zone is another. It takes a lot of effort to break the strands of complacency, but it’s better than regretting later. Setting goals and preparing yourself to achieve them can help you triumph balance. Be kind to yourself at all times, because balance won’t feel good if you are cruel to yourself in creating it. Lastly connect more to people who can challenge the demons inside you, who can show you the dark sides of you and who will celebrate the joys of little accomplishments in life.
Let’s move towards attaining a more balanced human life 😉

Teacher : The Real Divinity

” Indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well.”

Coming from the land of Vedas and Upanishads the value of a Guru is more than one can put in the labyrinth of words. A Guru : Teacher, Mentor , Guide or a Master. A teacher brings out the best in your personality, carves you into your best self possible. Seems like just words and not reality ? 
Let me recite a short parable to you. 
It is about a little girl , filled with passion and inquisitions, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. Her mind was stuffed with questions, and she wore her heart on her sleeve. In this cynical world she was a girl who painted a rosy picture about life. On this uphill journey called life,she lost her most precious gem and remained entangled in her loss, this loss filled her heart with fears. Her fears grew over her , stopped her from tinkering with her curiosity, it stopped her from being her. Little did she know that life which is a teacher itself was acting on her , making her wiser at such a tender age. Her loss had brought out her dull side, but it did make her stronger with the struggles one faces in life. 
At school , she felt herself to be lesser than others, at one end all her classmates were full of chirrup and on other end she was a wanderer , always lost in her inquisitions. She did have her dreams, but with the burden of life they were slowly getting buried. On one random day at school , amidst her thoughts , she heard a voice screaming at her, ” Yes you, answer this question” , fear drew her in and all she could do was stammer. Growing up with constant ridicule at school and a burden acting on her heart, a kid of barely 10 years old , lost all confidence in herself. But there was a ray of hope to save the kid, to save her dreams , to retain her curiosity. A teacher politely , appreciated her for her work, and she kept praising her , the praise made her work better and better. She slowly gained her confidence in the work she did. Simultaneously, another teacher groomed her in a playful manner. She started liking school, started smiling and enjoying like everyone else did.
Now, came a turning point in her life, from where the liberation of fear and anguish from her heart began. A teacher , no less than a mother , recognized her yearning soul, she was actually a mother away from home. She nurtured her , talked to her , set goals for her , made her reflect on the mistakes she committed in her own entanglements. She was a true mentor, she transformed a dull star to the most dazzling star in the night sky. Soon she became an office bearer of her school, with responsibilities and authorities. Just the support and appraisal from her teachers transformed her, it brought out the dying potential in her. 
 They made her feel safe in their bosom and simultaneously warned her of the real world outside. 
Out of her school, she had teachers too. Those who didn’t spend as much time with her as her school teachers did but still always tapped on her potential, and made her grow exponentially in life. 
She passed school, secured a well dignified score. A teacher, a guide not only helped her excel with a particular subject , but asked her to join him as an assistant teacher in his institute. It was not about the job, it was about the trust someone bestowed in her , someone who is not a member of her family , made her feel worthy of her being. 
Her growth out of her school did not stop , at all stages in her life she met teachers who trusted her , who helped her even though she was the most notorious student at college. 
Stepping into her masters, a point from where on every person competes for their daily bread. She was fortunate enough to meet a teacher who still peeped in her eyes and saw the broken soul, even though she aced at a lot in life, she had shut one part of her for the world. Her teacher picked up those broken pieces and gave them to her to be woven into a single piece again. Sometimes excelling in academics or winning a first price isn’t all, being a good human and orienting yourself in the best possible manner is also crucial. 
She embraced the life with a smile, but still had doubts in her heart. A teacher, in whom she saw a reflection of her father. A man so noble , that the words of reverence resonated in all corners with his name. A man full of thoughts , ideas , knowledge. Not only did he give a piece of his mind to her as an everyday dosage, but also taught her how to raise the bar of excellence for herself. With a mentor like him, learning became her favourite thing and growing was fun.
She was an aggregation of efforts of many in her life. She had lost herself a long back , hadn’t these teachers been there to make her believe she can do all she wishes for. 
Not many today understand the value of a teacher, but a teacher unknowingly does impact the lives of innumerable children who would have lost themselves in the way of life and bringout the best in them. 
And if anyone asks me , If you meet God and your teacher together, whom will you bow down to ? Of course, My Teacher. For you made me what i am. 
Wish you a very Happy Teachers Day! 

Circumstances or Inner Chaos?

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“Stop blaming your outside circumstances for your inner chaos.”

Most of the theories in psychology talk about the association of a person’s behavior to the external stimuli. Be it cognitive psychology, where the past develops the certain perceptions or notions in the mind of an individual, or Transaction analysis, where the person acts in different ego states, based on the Stimuli. Or the fundamental attribution theory, where to judge the performance of an individual in any terms, measuring the external events is also essential.
All theories I have encountered, talked about how circumstances change our behavior, how a good being can turn into a cynical being and how one is ought to be empathetic to the rest of the world.
These theories are the channels of understanding the complex human mind and how two beings can act differently in same situations; like, the sun hardens the clay but the same sun melts the ice too. But let’s not forget the key to these problems, the note for self on how we constantly ponder over the circumstances and give them the power over our mind and actions.
Situations do leave human beings gasping for help or at times makes one do those things , which they thought of never even attempting. External stimuli do render you more vulnerable, it makes you paint yourself in one corner.
Circumstances, they are beyond human control, but how one deals with it lies within the personal boundaries. But sadly, sometimes circumstances render the sharpest minds numb. That’s when one witnesses their lows, some are able to rise above it, some stay in that mystical land, where their productivity maybe nil, but their mind is always preoccupied with nothingness. Where at that moment all is pleasure, but it destroys you internally, that’s when circumstances give birth to an escapist, that is exactly when avoiding situations or pseudo occupying yourself to evade the situations escalate.
Pseudo occupying , a deep phrase , is where the person seems to be , and believes to be busy , the attitude sinks in them so much , that they do not realize that it is a part of them. That is where most individuals lose their true self and run in the race of this ensnared life.
Leaving things onto destiny and running with the flow has a very thin line difference. In the former there is acceptance and peace, in latter, there is escapism and chaos.
The latter ones are the people who play the blame game for their inner chaos. A Game , on how something has changed their behavior , how they have been in a situation they are in, these are the people who don’t get up and take charge of life, who just let the situations take toll over them.
One may not realize, but escapism is easy and can divert the attention off the situation but it is one of the root causes of anger outbursts, emotional boils, depression or in worst cases loss of life. Yes, giving up on situations can be as drastic as loss of life, simply because they do not have the power to change their situations, nor the courage to accept the current turmoil they are facing.
That’s where these theories help understanding the complexities in life, but they also come with how to deal with them. How to come out of the viscous circle and take charge of your life.
The problem with most of us is we focus on things we do not want, and hence never able to change the situations.
The universe doesn’t understand negation; it is obedient and serves you what you ask for.
Focus on things you want in life, ‘your thoughts become things’ and do not blame the circumstances for the inner tornado you are dealing with , instead use it as a tool for empathy , which can help you put yourself in someone else’s shoe better. There is absolutely nobody in this world who doesn’t feel that the situation they are in is the most back-breaking. But, when you are feeling helpless, try helping others, it will make you grow as an individual, you will start feeling better about your life, try putting yourself in the place of others , the world looks different from the eye lens of each and every individual, no two beings share the eye lens for the life we live.
( With the bare minimum experience that I have , all I can say is the best way to help yourself out of circumstances , is to completely be with you and work on yourself.)

“Prisoner of Patriarchy”

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I am a Muslim, I am a Christian, I am a Buddhist, I am a Sikh, and I am an Atheist.

I am twenty, I am thirty, I am forty and I am Fifty.

I am Single, I am Married, and I am Divorced.

I am Half the Country.”

-Kalki Koechlin

Moving down the realms of history one realizes how far we have come in this journey of breaking down the unyielding belief of Patriarchy. Continue reading ““Prisoner of Patriarchy””